If you’re looking for a fight, you’ll probably find one!

Thinking back, can you recall your style of communicating as a teen?

I was laid back with friends. More assertive with my brother and sister. But getting my point across with the parents was hard work.

People are social animals and need interaction. But the person we’re communicating with can have a big impact on how we feel, especially if they’re not listenting.  We usually get angry and this works both ways too. If you want to have more rewarding interactions with other people. It’s a suggestion to reflect on your contribution to the party.

What I mean is this…. if you look or sound Pi$$ed off. You’re going to get a fight or a short and pointless conversation.

Alternatively if you act like a push over, people will try to take advantage.

It’s horrible but I’ve heard of a recent case where a security firm have over sold a very expensinve security system to a pensioner because she found it hard to say no.

People in general trust confident people. Have you ever been in a group hiking with a confident leader, perhaps an older brother? later on, you found out that after heading through a field of bulls, swamp and up hills that you were completely off course….

The point is, if you want a particular response from someone.
Think about how you put your communication across.

If you’ve a friend who is always talking you into doing things that you don’t really want to do.

What is it that you’re doing, or saying that is communicating to your friend that they can still put pressure on you?

Have you built a reputation for saying no, then being easily persuaded.

You’ll have to work on this if you want changes here.

If you say no to something, then mean it. Friends don’t really mind being told NO. Even if they sulk, its business as usual fairly quickly.

On the flip side, if you want to see the power of confidence at work. Visit a premium car saleroom, watch the professionals. You’ll understand how compelling confidence can be if you show the slightest interest in a car.

Anybobs.. the next time a conversation goes south and you don’t get your point across.

Take a personal debrief on how you approached it.

Alternatively, if you’re looking for a fight. You’ll probably find it.